door #15: story

Everyone has a unique story. I love knowing someone's story; it's a privilege. Let's hear about your story behind Door #15.

In my work, confidentiality and privacy is paramount. I have 1000% respect for it professional but personally I see the limitations because it tends to close doors which equals limited story telling/sharing. The less you share, the more people start to make up your story; you lose power. No doubt, there are many things that should remain private yet when you grant people access to your own 'door' or maybe even just a 'window' magical things can happen. 

I love talking with people about their stories and sharing mine. And, if you've ever hung out with me socially, you've probably witnesses how I might use a few drinks to start to pry open the door! :) So many people walk around life finding ways to build walls around them due to fears, shame, embarrassment, perfectionism, not feeling good enough, caring what other people will think, etc. My guess is for every one person worldwide who is willing to sharing his/her story, there are 25 who won't or haven't. Based on my (unscientific) theory, that means 7.1B people are not sharing stories. Okay, if 5 of 25 share that means 5.92B are still unheard. That's a shit-ton no matter what ratio you use. 

When you are curious about your own and other's stories, you behind to break down the barriers; it's somewhat counterintuitive. If you are super private, think about time when you learned about someone else and what you received in exchange for his/her openness. Human connection occurs when you give and you receive. So stop being so stingy with your story, please!

When you take interest in someone's personal story, you begin to connect the dots and gain more clarity. You build empathy to realize everyone is really doing the best they can and you'll get a glimpse behind the facade they typically show the world.

I recall learning things about my parents that I had NO idea about. When I was in the bottom on the Empire State Building, I saw a plaque that my mother's grandfather, Alfred E. Smith, was the president in 1930. I knew he was the first Catholic to run for President of the US but learning these other little facts was like....Huh? This then turned into learning so much more conversation which gave me so much more compassion for my Mom. Until I saw a bunch of pictures of my father, with my aunt and uncle, walking the boardwalk in Palm Beach with fancy-pants clothes on, I didn't appreciate the stories about his childhood. Then I was like...where all the money at? :)

The best way to know someone's story is to ask and then LISTEN! What you'll find is most people are happy to share but people usually do not take the time to ask. Challenge: over the weekend, be curious about someone and find out the story. Ask someone unassuming - everyone has something to give. See how they light up. There are at least 5.9B untold stories. Knock, knock.

With love,
Katie

p.s. There an entirely different Door to talk about the 'story' that is playing in your mind. That's a different story! xo