door #17: balance

If you are seeking more balance, come on in. It's an interesting topic. It seems to not matter who you are or what you do; everyone is always seeking more B.A.L.A.N.C.E. What does that really mean? I'm still trying to figure it out and what I've realized is when you let the outside forces define it for you, you may never actually find it.  
 
Balance = Harmony
Harmony = Flow
Flow = Effortless Execution

For me, the most literal definition of balance is when I watch my daughter doing gymnastics on the balance beam. It seem effortless yet I know it takes an incredible amount of time to master because she is there 25+ hours per week practicing. The key here is 'practice'. Unless you are a super-freak, developing any skill takes practice and in order to create the kind of balance that we, as adults, are trying to find, it is no different. Practice.

Most important, in order to find balance, you need to eradicate guilt - the shame of not giving everyone enough time, enough attention, enough of anything. Again, recognize that we are all doing the best we can and learn from your own experiences. We are all trying to figure it out. 

I have come to learn, but still trying to put into practice, that I'm at my best when everything I do - work, family, social - becomes integrated. When you create bridges to all parts of your life, then you can easily cross them at any time. This works best for me because I am not able to live my life in little compartments. My balance = how I feel and I'm beginning to both understand and articulate how I feel. I also know that I can't be perfect at everything = letting go. Some days are going to be totally imbalanced (when I haven't fed the six people in my house a morsel of food) but when I look back over the month or year, my hope is that the percentage of days with "flow" have the highest percentage. If not, it's incentive to change something. 

Don't let other people define 'balance' in your life. It's as unique as you are. If a friend puts dinner on the table for her family every night, and mine eats cereal 3 nights per week, then I'm a loser-bag. Yet, my family does eat breakfast for dinner many nights and 'we' are all doing okay. We all have the power to define our own balance. Figure out what works for YOU and the people most important in your life.

There is so much advice out there to achieve work/life balance. When we are not experiencing HARMONY or BALANCE, whether you are working or not, we need to be curious about it and understand what's going on. Once you understand it, you can begin to change the things in your life that take you out of balance.

I read something recently that life generally feels out of balance when you are not receiving the connection that you desire at work or at home or wherever you put your time & effort. You may have a workplace that values your opinion and efforts but when you go home that is missing........you need to change something at home, not at work.

In addition to work/life balance, we also need to be curious about mind/body/spirit balance. This is a life long learning expedition. Pay attention to balance. It's totally in our control and we DO have a choice to find a way to create more harmony in our lives. And, have more conversations about it. It may just open a few more doors for you. Knock, knock.

With love,
Katie