What are your goals? This is a common question and especially among a group of achievers. Let's spend some time behind this door to try to understand what goals really are, how we make them and how we go about either achieving, adjusting or abandoning them.
Goals = Dreams = Desires
Personally, I enjoy making goals. I usually write them out when I need some clarity and then they get stuffed in a notebook or a drawer to be discovered some other time. I don't carry them around with me and check little boxes. I'm usually pretty amazed that when I find my little list, a majority of them have been achieved. I also set goals that I don't achieve. Like I'm going to lose 5 pounds in 3 weeks. You can't just set a goal and not do the work required to achieve it!
Here are the basic steps in goal setting:
1. Set the goal
2. Believe, deeply believe, that it's possible
3. Make daily choices so they are aligned with your goal
4. Do the work to make the goal a reality
5. Celebrate you did it
Here's one that I set 3 years ago:
1. Participate in an amateur boxing match in 4 months and win
2. A friend believed I could do it and then I did too.
3. Training was a # priority for me and I had awesome support
4. I trained (classes, sparring, personal training) 6 days per week and many days double sessions
5. I celebrated I won but upon reflection, that I did the work to get there.
I'd give myself a high grade for goal setting: play a sport in college, find a job 1 week after graduating, buy a house, 21 day cleanse, marathon, triathlon, big family, build a business, learn meditation, write for 21 days, become the best version of me, etc. I've been called an 'over achiever' way too many times. It used to piss me off but then I realized it was simply a judgment of my effort. If I choose to set a goal, I will typically achieve it - as long as I follow steps #1-5. I'm now proud of my [over]achievements. The difference today is that I now want to set my goals with clear intentions that are aligned with MY heart.
Here's what we should be curious about re: goals. Why have you set your goals? Are they because of expectation of your parents, family, spouse, friends, co-workers? Are they what you really want to achieve? Are they aligned with your values? Do they get you closer to fulfilling your life purpose? Do they inspire you or do they make you tired just thinking about them? What will you do once you achieve them? How do you react if you don't achieve them? What will or won't you allow to get in your way? Does achieving your goal build people around you up or knock them down? Who helps you achieve them? Who do you acknowledge for getting there?
It's kind of important to be able to ponder/answer these questions before you even set goals. Once you get clear, you can set the big goals and sub-goals to get you there.
If you are going to put so much time and effort towards achieving a goal, you ought to make sure it's going to work for YOU! Many people are busy achieving goals that other people set for them: graduate from an Ivy League school, get a job in banking/law/medical, marry someone perfect looking, be thin, have perfect children, live in a beautiful home, stay at home and raise your children, put dinner on the table every night....and so on.
Here's my current list in no particular order:
1. Get our house painted
2. Meditate every day
3. 02X Summit Challenge - Oct 1
4. Create an inspiring and successful Open Doors Conversation Series
5. Do 10 pull-ups in a row
6. Be invited to give a commencement speech
7. Volunteer at an orphanage
8. Create significant wealth doing what I love
9. Learn something new every day
10. Inspire others
Let's hang out behind Door #21 together. Once you make your goals known, you'll be amazed at how much faster you can get there. There is also zero shame in changing or saying goodbye to your goals. When you do, you release energy to do what you really want to do. And, you'll learn a lot in the process.
I like the word DREAM better! What are your dreams?
With love,
Katie