Knock, knock! When you come through, you can probably name your fears fairly easily: heights, snakes, my child getting kidnapped, flying, etc. these are all true fears. But discovering what fears you have deep inside you are what we need to acknowledge. What are you REALLY afraid of?
We have lots of choices to make every day. I've been seeing this quote often: choose Love over Fear. And, as usual, I am trying to understand what that really means. Just like: choose Vegtables over Reece's Cup. I know the right answer logically but unless I'm fully aware, I'm eating the Reece's Cup....just one, no big deal!
I know I should say and do everything with the source being love but until you begin to discover and become aware of your fears, it's really difficult to access the authentic love. We're on auto pilot with fear being behind the wheel. Here are some of my inner fears and a few examples to attempt to illustrate how I let them take control:
1. I fear not being smart enough. Whenever someone asks me where I went to college, 99% of the time I follow the answer with 'and I had an althletic scholarship' or 'the 4th best school in the state'. I know I'm smart, with a higher EQ than IQ, but fear being judged by where I went to college. I see people get so excited when someone answers with some expensive, branded college/university. A choice of college is part of someone's story but doesn't define you. I am starting to just simply answer without any justification and choosing love.
2. I fear being needy. I can totally take care of myself, am independent and don't need your help. When thinking and behaving from this fear, I shut out human connections - the foundation of what everyone is seeking, including me. There is no give/take. I'm starting to ask for help or at a minimum say 'yes, thank you' and choosing love.
3. I fear being abandoned. I spend so much energy to make certain everyone around me is happy and they like me and won't leave me. #2 comes from this place too. Our fears are simple yet difficult to discover. I'm in the process of working on this one and acknowledging that I'm good enough as I am (love) and if someone doesn't like me, that's okay.
4. I fear failure. When I choose to do something, I'm pretty much take the intense 'all in' approach. Cuz, I will succeed. I care way to much what other people think and that they might call me a quitter! I'll show you. There is a lot of external ego in fear of failing. I don't fully understand the source of this fear but am super curious about it. I want to choose love.
Our fears developed a very long time ago and most of them do not serve us any longer. They are playing in the background all the time. Why are giving them power? Give the power to love.
Come on through this scary door to understand and name your fears. There is some deep stuff in here. Become aware of the source of your thoughts and actions. Once you can name something, you can begin to change your thoughts and your behaviors. You begin to shift from fear to love, everything around you will shift. When you discover your inner fears, you will appreciate others and find compassion.
With love,
Katie